Comfortable in My Awkwardness
No one was interested in what I had to say.
The vacant expressions of “I’d rather be somewhere else” were clear.
The polite smiles and the clapping at the end of my technical presentation just rubbed it in.
This was during my first job out of university at an IT consultancy. I had to deliver a short overview of what I was working on to a small group of colleagues.
The nerves were there but everyone says they get them so that was normal. I turned and said to my manager, “I think I’m going to make a complete hash of this”.
He replied in his apathetic voice; “Just be yourself. You’ll be fine.”
I stand up and walk to the front of the meeting room thinking to myself – “Just be yourself”.
I looked at my notes and read off the projected slides, my back towards the audience so that I didn’t have to make eye contact. The words came out fast but comfortable enough for me.
I quietly explained the overly complex diagram and finished with how this would help the project.
“Any questions?”
There were none.
Great - it was short and sweet and I went back to my seat faster than a cheetah in a white collar.
The reason I’m telling you this is because being myself was not enough.
The truth is most people are not invested in your future. They give you what you want to hear and take the route that is easiest for them.
“Just be yourself” was the cop-out advice my manager gave me.
I Wish I’d Known This Sooner
I was that nerdy tech guy for a long time - for decades. I always thought my work would speak for itself and that would be enough. My technical expertise would shine and I would be recognised through it.
But the truth is you get noticed by how you communicate.
I recently started working with a voice coach to boost my presentation skills. I wish I’d known about such things sooner. The perspective you get from someone who is an expert in what they do and is genuinely interested in seeing me improve.
He’s taught me that communicating is like living in a city. Some parts I was familiar with and regularly visited while other parts less so.
But that does not mean I shouldn’t explore the variety and range of my voice.
And he showed me that talking with more energy and passion was not fake as some people would say.
“It’s not you. That’s just so fake. Just be yourself”.
Trying different ways of talking is not fake, it’s was just exploring the city I live in. Getting to know those areas I’m not so familiar with, those areas I'm not so comfortable with.
So next time you want to talk in front of a crowd don’t think “fake it till I make it” but instead “this is my city and I’m going to explore”.
There’s so much to learn in tech that it can bamboozle a sane minded person and can feel overwhelming a lot of time. But just knowing what is possible is a huge leg up and opens many doors.
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Credits:
Music: Emotional Piano by SigmaMusicArt | https://pixabay.com/users/sigmamusicart-36860929/
Creative Commons CC BY 4.0 - https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Being assertive and navigating life as your true self is a superpower. Great article, Abhid.
I love this post!